Living the Dream
from Kerrigan-Lowdermilk LIVE Extras
from Tales from the Bad Years
LEAD
Lovers and haters,
We gather here and now
For the making of a holy sacred vow.
So make some room for the bride and groom -
Yours truly MC Groom-e-o. Check it yo.
With my hair gelled back and my best suit on,
With my girl by my side,
And the tickets to San Juan in my pocket.
My heart is taking off like a rocket.
Yeah, yeah, I walk the walk
Down the festooned aisle
With a smile
All the while everybody’s staring.
All but Aunt Karen with her hair in a beehive
And a sour puss face.
See the girl in the lace?
Flyest girl in the place?
That’s my soul mate.
Just because you’re jealous
Doesn’t mean that you can tell us
Not to celebrate.
Nah, haters,
You got it all wrong.
Don’t you see?
This is where we belong -
At the altar.
I do. She do.
It’s true. I’m her boo.
Ain’t nobody ever gonna kill this buzz
Of a richer love than ever will be, is, or was.
It’s impossible to do because,
You know, I’m livin’ the dream.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah
You’re livin’ the dream.
LEAD
Yeah, livin’ the dream y’all.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
LEAD
With a mortgage like a real suburbanite.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
LEAD
Yeah, livin’ the dream.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
LEAD
With a kid on my knee and an S.U.V.
I’ll be showin’ off my rims at mommy and me.
BACKUP
Yeah.
LEAD
I’m like a homeboy.
BACKUP
Yeah.
LEAD
But I don’t got the angst.
BACKUP
A 401K and a job at the bank.
LEAD
Livin’ the dream.
I can see it now.
Me and my girl
Making trips to big lots.
Buying everything in bulk
From diapers to tater tots.
I’m like the hulk
As I carry all our shit
To a house so pimped out
You can barely even sit:
To wit,
We got the stroller!
It’s got a hiding space in back.
We got the universal remote controller!
It’s workin’ cable, DVD, and the tracks.
It’s still sort of fucked up,
Gotta turn the TV on by hand...
But that’s cool -
We’ll figure it out-
The TV’s just a different brand.
BACKUP
It’s Panasonic.
LEAD
Yeah. And the TV’s a Sony.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
LEAD
Yeah, livin’ the dream y’all.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
LEAD
With my golden retriever at the dog park.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
LEAD
Yeah, livin’ the dream.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
LEAD
With my argyle sweater and a pair of slacks
I'm at the country club where the rich relax.
BACKUP
Yeah.
LEAD
Who needs an Audi?
BACKUP
Yeah.
LEAD
I got a golf cart.
BACKUP
He's ready to break in the new Cuisin-art.
LEAD
Livin’ the dream.
I’ll be coming home at night
To an exotic cuisine.
My baby can cook anything
As long as it’s lean.
She’s keeping me svelte.
I’m losing notches on my belt.
But that’s the hand I’m dealt.
So if I have to sneak a burger or two?
I do.
I have to.
My wife would kill me if she knew.
But that’s married life, right?
That’s how they do you, right?
That’s how they whip ya,
Skinny dip ya in the above ground pool, right?
You’re a fool for it.
Y’buy her jewels for it.
But she’s the one letting you spoon her
In your quilt-top king-size bed.
That’s right polite of her.
Being whipped ain’t news, bro.
It’s just how you lose your bed
And then your head
To a love supreme.
That’s living the dream.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
You’re livin’ the dream.
LEAD
Give it up for my bridal hos and my bitches of honor!
Yeah, livin' the dream.
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
LEAD
Yeah. That’s right... I’m getting myself married...
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah
You’re livin’ the dream.
LEAD
... in T minus 10 minutes...
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
LEAD
And I’m fuckin psyched, yo...
BACKUP
Hey hey yeah.
LEAD
Peace out.
