Party Worth Crashing

from Kerrigan-Lowdermilk LIVE Extras
from Tales from the Bad Years

WOMAN 3
We’re in a car. We’re driving through the Hamptons.

WOMAN 2
The house is sick.

WOMAN 1
It looks like Peter Frampton’s.

WOMAN 3
It has a gate.

WOMAN 2
It has its own drive.

WOMAN 1
It has a neon sign that’s flashing “Frampton Comes Alive.”

ALL THREE
We’re young.
We’re hip.
We’re rich.
We tip.
And when we find an open bar and hot buffet,
We stay.
This looks like a party worth crashing.
Fergie’s in the hiz-ouse,
Ready to spin.
Yeah, this looks like a party worth crashing.
Everybody’s smashed and singing “Knock, knock, let us in.”

WOMAN 2: Oh my god. I think I see an Olsen.
WOMAN 1: Where’s my red cup!

WOMAN 3
The kegs are tapped.
The party’s getting started.

WOMAN 2
But we don’t drink beer

WOMAN 2/3
‘Cause we think that’s retarded.

WOMAN 1
We don’t do keg stands ‘cause that’s not our thing.

WOMAN 3
We’re drinking Goldschlager and Red Bull

ALL THREE
‘Cause we like our drinks with bling.

WOMAN 2
We’re young.

WOMAN 3
We’re hot.

WOMAN 1
We’re rich.

WOMAN 1/2
You’re not.

ALL THREE
And when the situation calls for showing tit,
We do it.
This looks like a party worth crashing.
Nobody eats carbs so everyone’s thin.
Yeah, this looks like a party worth crashing.
Everybody’s smashed and singing “Knock, knock, let us in.”

WOMAN 1
Yeah,
Oh no.

WOMAN 1: Hey.
WOMAN 2: Hey.

WOMAN 3
You forgot to eat at home but there’s fritos.
Lots of guacamole and some tostitos.
Eat from the buffet of life you’re living.
No one but the models counting calories tonight so give in,
It’s your life.
This is your life.
It’s your life.
This is your life.

Get your ass out on the dance floor dancing.
All I need tonight’s a chance encounter romancing.
Grind on the table, while you still able.
Take your cable sweater off and disregard the label.
I don’t care if you’re brokenhearted.
Get this down and dirty party started.
It’s your life.
This is your life.
It’s your life.
This is your…
Don’t be worried when you fall right off the table.
All it means is that it wasn’t very stable.
Get back up again, it’s all part of the story.
The good and the bad and the motherfucking glory.
It’s your life.
This is your life.
Don’t you see.

This is your life.
Don’t you see.
This is the point.
The whole entire point of life is…

WOMAN 2
The party’s tanked. The movie stars are purgin’.
And Kelly’s gone. I think she’s not a virgin.
Ramona’s drunk and dialing her ex.
The floor is super sticky and the mansion smells like sex.

ALL THREE
We’re crunk.
We’re high.
We say
Buh-bye.
But suddenly the party hits a second wave.
The ra-a-a-a-ave.
This is the party worth crashing.
Dead until it’s resurrected again.
Yeah, this looks like the party worth crashing.
Everybody’s smashed and singing “Not that innocent.”

WOMAN 3
Yeah.

WOMAN 1/2
This looks like a party worth crashing.
I’ll be sitting poolside, bring me a gin.
Yeah.

ALL THREE
This looks like a party worth crashing.
Everybody’s smashed and singing

WOMAN 1
Yeah.

ALL THREE
Everybody’s smashed and singing

WOMAN 2: Oh my god. Guys. Bob just told me about a party three doors down.

WOMAN 1/3
Party worth crashing.

WOMAN 2: Brangelina might be there. With her babies.

ALL THREE
Party worth crashing.

WOMAN 1
Oh.

ALL THREE
Party worth crashing.

WOMAN 3
I’m so fucking drunk.

ALL THREE
Party worth crashing.

WOMAN 1
Oh.

WOMAN 2
Stop riffing!

• 

Associated Artists

Meghann Fahy
Colleen Ballinger
Cortney Wolfson
Jenni Barber
Krysta Rodriguez
Celisse Henderson
Dana Steingold
Helene Yorke